Recent events

On March 4th I went into Health Park Hospital to have surgery on my uterus because I had a fibroid the size of a softball. it was 4.5" wide and weighed over 1lb which is a large size fibroid. So I am currently healing from that. Let me tell you it is very rough. I feel for all the mommies that have had C-sections. How do you do it?

Next on March 6th I found out I have a tumor on my optic nerve that is starting to spread into my brain. I always thought that if I got that kind of news that I would just accept it without it phasing me..... Boy oh boy was I wrong. I cried for most of that night and part of the next day. News like that makes your whole life flash in front of you. It makes you wonder whether or not it will spread so bad that you become disabled and can't recognize your own kid. Or whether or not you will make it to see her graduate, get married, or even have kids of her own. I can't help feeling sad about these things because as a mother these are the first things we think of when we get bad new. (Or at least this mother right here does!)

So since the news I have tried to stay focused with things I can still do while I still have vision. Like sewing, quilting, cross stitching, and reading. Most of all though trying to not let myself get aggravated so much with my daughter and instead enjoy the time with her. She is now 3 and has become quite the little bossy thing. But it is so funny to see her develop these two totally different personalities. On one side she's all tomboy and wants to go outside and ride on the tractor with daddy and work on the truck with him. Then on the other side she wants her nails painted and she wants me to paint her eyes (her words not mine) or her nails and play dress up and have pictures taken. And it's thing like this that makes me happy to have my little girl.

Over the course of me going through my ordeals and finishing up projects and just needing somewhere to rant this is going to be my new spot to let my thoughts fly freely. If you don't like what I have to say I insist on you not reading, but for those of you who are honestly concerned and really wondering how I am doing emotionally. Well this is going to be where your going to get most of it.

Lyndsay